we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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