I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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