Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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