Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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