ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
