Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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