Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I can't turn off my feet"
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
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