What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Randomize
