"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
