Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Randomize
