Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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