i would punch a child for taco bell
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
