I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Randomize
