Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize