i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize