Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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