What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
