kristin has been a bad kristin
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
