I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
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