she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
