Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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