Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
