did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
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