i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
It's shark week go big or go home
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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