Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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