Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
