I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
