got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
