Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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