member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize