i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
