he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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