A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
