okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize