Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Vodka?
Forever.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
