I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
