never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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