I think im going to throw up on grandma
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
