i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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