I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
