fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
