You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
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