Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
