god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
