So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize