Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
