I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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