just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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