So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
God, you're like boner-b-gone
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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