I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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