please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
