Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
