The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
