So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
