im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
