I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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