is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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