Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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