if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize