I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
