You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Pooping to opera.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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