I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
We need a shit load of segways right now
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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